


The goat - balls story

by Drachenkinder



Series: Learning to Fly [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Drunk Loki, Forced shape change into an animal, Jack is not happy, Light BDSM, M/M, No animals were hurt in the telling of this tale, Not even the squirrel, Payback, Referencing myth, Thor is not getting involved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:07:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24915838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drachenkinder/pseuds/Drachenkinder
Summary: Jack can't keep his mouth shut and Loki decides to teach him a lesson.
Relationships: Loki/Jack Linden implied, Thor/Loki implied
Series: Learning to Fly [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1478801
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	The goat - balls story

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place in between No Quarter and Jack Frost and the Hooded Crow

The day was mild and Thor decided to walk to Loki’s cabin from the village which was New Asgard. Corbin was entertaining their younger sibs for the day so their parents could have some time off. Loki and Jack had left Thrudheim after lunch, but Thor was held up with a last minute minor calamity that only he could sort out and it was another hour before he could get away. He was looking forward to spending the rest of the day in Loki’s company. He wanted to find out what had irritated him after he returned from the final fitting at his tailors and why his pet demon was skulking in the corners of the dining hall instead of joining them at the royal table. 

As he approached the cabin he heard the “Naaaah!” of an upset goat followed by Loki’s laughter. Curious he rounded the last bend on the path and looked into the clearing. 

Loki was sitting on the porch with a large bowl in his lap and Thor was alarmed to see a shaggy black billy goat tethered by its balls several yards from the front of the cabin. As Thor watched a crab apple sailed through the air and landed a few feet out of reach of the goat. It turned to look at him with pale blue eyes and Thor saw a familiar collar around its neck. The goat pointed toward the apple with its nose, pawed the ground and bleated, “Naaah?”

Thor sighed in relief. His brother had never been cruel to animals in the past and he was glad to see he wasn’t now. He shook his head. “This is between you two.”

The goat shook his head angrily, stuck out its tongue at Thor and screamed furiously.

Loki laughed again. “Come on Jack, this might just be the one that returns you to your proper shape.”

If looks could kill, Loki would be a week old corpse from the glare the goat gave him. It set its shoulders and stepped forward pulling the tether tight. The other end went over a tree branch and was secured to something hidden in the grass. As the shape changed demon walked gingerly forward a dumbbell rose into the air. 

Thor winced in sympathy and joined his brother on the porch. Jack the goat snatched up the crabapple, jumped backward and the dumbbell dropped back into the grass. He chewed up the apple and then glowered at Loki when nothing happened. He lowered his head and shook his horns at the chortling god.

Thor took a bottle of mead from a mostly empty case and asked Loki. “What did he do this time?”

Loki paused to take a swig, finishing his own drink and dropped the bottle onto the porch to join its myriad dead companions. “He told that stupid goat myth to Ingrid, the tailor’s daughter and then asked her if it was true. She’s the biggest gossip in town and so I got to hear half a dozen people snickering about it when I stepped out of the tailor’s.” 

“Ah.” Thor knew that myth infuriated his brother almost as much as the one about Sleipnir’s origin. 

Loki tossed another crabapple in front of Jack. “I thought I’d give him a new story to tell involving a goat and balls.”

“How many crabapples has he eaten?” Thor asked, more to take his mind off the demon’s struggles than to sate any curiosity. 

“The bowl was full when we started. Over twenty.” Loki opened another bottle and took drink. “You’d think the right one would have turned up by now.” He smirked.

Thor just shook his head. It didn’t pay to rile up Loki, but his pet never seemed to quite get that through his head. He noted that Loki had passed the point of drunk and was well on the way to shitfaced when his brother carefully placed his bottle an inch off the edge of the table. Anyone else would have ended up with a lap full of mead, but Loki was a sorcerer of some power and the bottle sat quietly on empty air. Thor surreptitiously moved it onto the table, in case Loki suddenly remembered gravity. 

“You did put the counter spell in one of the apples?” Thor asked.

Loki frowned for a moment, shrugged and answered. “I think I did. My memory is a bit hazy. If not, it will wear off in a week or two.”

Jack gave an outraged bleat and Loki threw another crabapple. “We’ll find out in a few minutes. There’s only a handful left.”

Jack stared at the apple and stomped his feet. Thor could see he was considering whether this was worth the trouble.

“It will wear off, then?”

“I think so. I was already a bit intoxxxxicated when I cast it.” Loki smiled at Thor. “Do you remember the time I turned you into a frog and you had to live in the pond in mother’s garden for a month?”

“Unfortunately.” Thor took another drink. It was not a pleasant memory. “As I recall Mother had to undo the spell.”

“True.”

At this Jack gave a furious bleat and trudged forward. He was almost there when a flash of red zoomed down a tree and raced across the grass. He paused, startled and then lunged forward with a loud bleat snatching the crabapple away from the marauding squirrel’s grasp. 

Loki burst into a fit of laughing so hard he almost fell off his chair. An apple rolled onto the porch and Thor retrieved it and dropped it back into the bowl.

“Be quick little demon,” Loki laughed. “You have a rival.” He threw two apples out this time and Jack lunged toward one and then the other as the squirrel dodged between his hooves. He managed to gulp them both down and scrambled backward where he stood panting, his head down. The squirrel retreated to the middle of the yard and watched Loki, its tail flicking over its back.

Loki howled and pounded his heels on the porch boards in glee.

“What will happen to the squirrel if it eats the one with the antidote?” Thor asked.

Loki wiped the tears of laugher from his eyes before answering. “Nothing. Provided it really is a squirrel.” He took another drink, and eyed Thor over the rim of the bottle. “Which it should be. I don’t go around transferring, transmorgafering… turning people into animals on a regular basis.”

Thor just sighed. Even if Loki hadn’t put the counter spell into one of the crabapples he’d be able to change Jack back once he sobered up. He wasn’t a teenage boy experimenting with barely understood magic. At worse the demon would have to spend the night as a goat. Thor however, wasn’t going to enlighten him and spoil Loki’s game. He had no wish to draw his brother’s wrath on himself. 

“Last three Jack." Loki said and pulled his arm back for the throw, "GO!” The apples sailed across the grass spreading out and bouncing. 

Jack leaped for one with a “NAAAGH!” as the rope snapped tight. He gulped it down, drove the squirrel off the second and then dove for the third and snatched it away from the grabbing paws with a quick snap of his jaws. He was crunching it up in triumph when the squirrel darted back towards the second apple, grasped it in its teeth and raced toward the tree. Jack gave a horrified bleat, and jumped toward the squirrel. He landed on all fours in his true shape and curled up with a cry of “Gahkk!”

The rope disappeared a half second later and the dumbbell dropped to earth with a thump. Loki did fall off his chair this time, and lay laughing and beating the porch floor with his hands.

Jack slowly stood up, cradling his abused balls and distended belly in the blue glow of ice and healing magic. He stalked toward the cabin, his tail lashing and his wings half spread. 

“You goddamned, fucking, son of a…”

“Ah ah!” Loki wagged a finger at him, reminding Jack all too much of the Grandmaster. “Don’t finish that unless you want to spend the next month chasing cats and chewing on bones.”

Jack stopped and glared down at his grinning god. He took a deep breath and then snarled “I am using up every drop of your fancy ass shampoo to get this stench out of my skin.” He stomped into the house trailing eau de billy goat in his wake.

“That,” Said Thor opening his second mead and prodding Loki with the toe of his boot, “was not how I envisioned this afternoon’s entertainment.” 

There was the sound of retching from inside the cabin.

“You were overly cruel, Loki.”

Loki rolled onto his stomach and looked up at Thor. “Fewer apples next time?”

“At the least.”

Loki tilted his head. “I’ll consider it. You do know the little shit probably enjoyed the rest of it. It’s so hard to punish him.”

“Maybe”, Thor said hauling his brother up and into his lap, “you should simply ignore his petty misbehavior.”

Loki nuzzled Thor’s hair. “When he works so hard to piss me off? Now who is being cruel?”

**Author's Note:**

> Just a day in the life of a trickster and his annoying pet.


End file.
